there's no time to cry

so i've started this new chapter of my life in a new state, only knowing about ten people and i've been looking forward to starting this new chapter for quite some time. it has been about seven months in the planning, but years in the making, really. i just had to get away from the life i knew and the negative influences and the negative impact that my hometown was starting to have on my spirit. i chose the beach, a town that i was familiar with and knew a few folks, but that wouldn't limit my opportunities, would only expand them. but since i've been here, i've not been living up to my potential, which is nothing new. i'm lacking motivation and i'm overwhelmed at the vastness of it all; starting completely over, being able to be who i want yet still holding on to who i am at my core, in my heart.
and in the midst of it all, i might be falling in love. with someone who lives across the country, no less.
it's all just a lot harder than i imagined it would be; on my heart, on my brain, on my body, on my spirit. i've always been a loner, i love being alone, really, but i find myself craving like minded individuals and in most cases i find that i relate to men easier than women, but i've also come to realize that it's almost impossible for men and women to be just friends. i find myself defeated in thought before i even attempt to befriend anyone, and i'm having to really work to overcome stigmas of basic human interaction.
i have great hope for my future and i can't wait to see how it all pans out, and i have great faith that this move and this new start will have been for the absolute best; in fact, that i already know. i suppose it's just trying to be in such a state of limbo and so displaced from everything i know, from the layout of the town to where the best burger is to a shoulder to lean on for support.
so, i'm turning, once again, to you, dear readers, as i have for the past eight years. hell, i might even link back to my past blogs, starting with my first blogspot, to my livejournal, to my myspace, to my facebook.
this is to be a secret part of Alice D., that's why the link has no title and no information. it's my emergency exit, my own wonderland.
Alice D. gets it's name from an old Grateful Dead song; this seems like an opportune time to let you in on it.

You say you're living in a world of trouble

All your schemes have popped like a bubble
Your mother told your sister
And your brother told your friend
Now your secret's out, and you don't have to pretend
You can see for yourself, it's really not the end
You're standing there with tears in your eyes
There's too much going on now, there's no time to cry


You say the walls are closing in on you child
All your friends have put you in exile
Bad luck seems to follow you all around the world
You can't seem to find no peace of mind girl
You will take a chance to seem so bad
Every minute is a brand new day
And there are some games that I'd just love to play
Even bad scenes are for real, there's no time to cry


Since you left your old scene behind you
Go ahead and let the green light find you
It's warm and friendly girl and it won't blind you
Come out in the street and the weeds won't grind you
See the love is in the air, you feel it all around you


Your yesterday's are all left behind
There's a brand new light in your mind
You don't need a key to define
What's written on the magic sign
There's no time to cry


When the season of the magic lantern
Is transformed into a funny pattern
And the wheel of fortune has a flat tire
You can't seem to get any higher
When you go above the machine, you find a horseshoe