there's no time to cry

may i just say that it was so good to talk to you tonight. yes, you! it'd been too long.
may i also just say that i have felt so much better since yesterday. since ridding myself of so many nostalgic pieces of clothing. and i cannot wait to bleach the one piece that i kept into oblivion?
do you do that? make really silly symbolic statements that make total sense in your brain but when you try to put them into words they sound quite stupid (plus, bonus: hopefully when bleached into oblivion this particular tee will start to tear and maybe even resemble those holey balmain's that go for $1000+.. we'll see.)?
i am starting a new job tomorrow, too. i love that i'm starting over. a lot of people don't take a second chance or don't get one at all. and it's not like i completely screwed up the life that i had to begin with, i just couldn't live it anymore. well. more like i couldn't stand to. i could have, just not happily or healthfully. and i haven't been taking full advantage of it yet and i keep saying i'm going to.. but i've been waiting on a stable income, really. i'd love to act like money doesn't matter but we all know that money matters a lot. i don't need lots of excess money to be happy (although, honestly, who would mind some?), but i do need a home and stability to be happy and that requires me to pay rent. so.. yknow. income i must have. so between cutting him out of my life, talking to you today (i must admit, i was worried you'd forgotten about me.. and it was saddening. very saddening.) and starting work tomorrow things are looking up. we'll have to see about this job and if it really is as good as they make it out to be, because, well.. are they ever really?
i guess those were all stresses that have really been weighing on me lately.. it's nice to have them lifted. it's nice to remember that things change. even though i take such comfort in stability, it's nice to recognize that there's a certain stability to change; that is that things will always change, they'll never stay the same forever. when things are bad, they'll (hopefully) get better and usually when things are good, sometimes they fall. and with those pitfalls, comes good again. and you know what they say, 'without the sweet, you can't appreciate the sour.'